To My Dad

He bought me my first guitar at a pawn shop
I wrote my first song it was about God
He told me I would become a rock star
He bought me my first guitar at a pawn shop

I told him I don’t want to live in his house
He gave me wings so that I can be free
I fell from the sky I lost my purity
He told me he knew that I would see

How’d you know dad
That I grew too big to live inside your house
To let me go when it was my time

How’d you know dad
That I would fall and see the truth my own way
But everything would be okay

You know that I was born to be like you
No matter what I say I am afraid of heights
No matter how hard I try I am quiet
No matter what they don’t see I have a big heart

I’ve grown to love my mom, you’ve always loved her
No matter how hard she pushed you were a rock
You saw the beauty in her since you were seventeen
You are the greatest dad I’ve ever seen

Thank you for everything
Thank you for loving me*

*These are the lyrics to my song “Dad.” If you’d like to listen click here.

One Human Family

A couple days ago, I came across several websites that talked about their campaign or movement to solve the problem of social isolation we face in our society. These websites mentioned the founders of the movements either having an experience of isolation themselves or deciding to bring awareness to how we ignore each other on the street. From those sites, clicking on other links led me to even more sites that spread awareness about these issues and are trying to do their own thing to solve it.

Why are these movements appearing? Why the dissatisfaction with everyone keeping to themselves? We all have our own separate lives going on anyway, why should we connect with “strangers”? These movements are starting to show up left and right because the majority of people feel the disconnectedness in our society and leaders who are just that fed up with it are starting to do something about it. And the cool thing is, people are responding to these movements. People are responding because we are one human family. We’re really not that different from our neighbors, people from the other side of the coast, or people from the other side of the world. It just makes sense that we are connected and this disconnection is causing problems.

One problem that is causes is that the majority of people aren’t willing to reach out and help each other out. There have been studies about the causes to why people aren’t willing to help random strangers in need such as people thinking someone else will help or people not wanting to stand out. I say that the cause is that we forget we’re all human, experience very similar things, and are really in this together whether we act out that fact or not.

I was inspired to write this post because I wanted to share something I did yesterday. There was an old man on the side of the freeway with his hazard lights on, hood of the car popped up, searching for something in his trunk. I watched him search through his trunk for about 5 minutes because it was bumper to bumper traffic on the freeway, and I could see him from far away. Since I’ve been practicing helping anyone I see in need these past couple months, I immediately started thinking whether I should help him or not. I’ve never helped someone with car problems, let alone on the side of a freeway. One, I’m a girl that doesn’t really know anything about cars, and two, I’m a girl, we’re normally taught not to help strangers like that. I decided to help him out because my heart told me to do so, and I weighed out any potential dangers. There really weren’t any because it was broad daylight still, it was bumper to bumper traffic, so everyone on the freeway can see me.

I pulled over in front of his car on the side of the freeway, then walked over to him and asked him if he needed any help. He looked like such a sweet old man. =) He was muttering a bunch of things without even looking at me while continuing to look through his trunk. I noticed he had hearing aids on, so I asked him a bit louder. He heard me, then walked me over to the engine and started talking about the different parts of the engine and what went wrong. I asked him if I could do anything to help, then he walked to his trunk and put some coolant wherever it belonged. I only knew it was coolant because it said on the bottle. It actually said vinegar on the bottle, but then I noticed coolant was written on the bottle with a marker. Then he said he’ll need some oil. I offered to buy some oil and bring it back to him. He was about to give me $20 for the oil, but then he looked at me and I knew he started thinking if he should give a stranger $20. I decided to tell him that I’ll buy it, and when I come back he could pay me back. He liked that idea better. Long story short, I brought the oil back to him, the car started working good enough where he could drive it, and he thanked me and said I was a sweetheart. =)

I’m glad I decided to help him because when I saw him for the 5 minute period, no one was pulling over or offering help. He ended up not having a cell phone, so he wouldn’t have been able to get home unless someone helped him. When one of our immediate family members need help, we’re right there for them. In fact, families are great because they are the ones we can pretty much always rely on when problems arise. I understand some people don’t have family they can rely on, but hopefully you’ve created your own family of trustworthy friends that you can rely on.

Going back to what I was talking about at the beginning of this post, more and more people, if not the majority, notice that people are more disconnected than ever. It is important to point out that people are noticing this. If there wasn’t anything wrong, it wouldn’t be anything to notice or even talk about. The fact that people notice means we realize there is something wrong about this disconnection. The problem is that our family is disconnected. We realize when our immediate family is falling apart. Our human family is falling apart because we’re not connecting with each other – we’re not there for each other.

If the opportunity comes up and if it’s safe of course, but don’t rationalize that something is unsafe when really it isn’t just so that you can get out of helping someone because it’s more convenient for you time wise or emotionally. If that opportunity comes up, maybe you can help a stranger (aka our human family member). It was actually really fun to help him out. ;o)

We can’t afford to be unhappy

Our life, our family, our job, our health, and our friends depend on our happiness. If we are unhappy, all the important areas of our lives are affected. Our life starts to lose meaning, our family starts to struggle, our job might be on the line, our health may start to fail, and our friendships are at risk.

I got the idea to write on this topic when I realized that I started acting differently with my husband starting yesterday. Yesterday was when I started to feel energized again. Before that, I was realizing that I was being really irritable. I was not a fun person to be around. When this happens, I realize it eventually and take a step back to figure out what’s going on. What was going on was that I was unhappy. The way I was going about my new job was making me unhappy; I was feeling very overwhelmed by my list of things to do, which consisted of mostly important and urgent things; and I wasn’t giving myself time to just have me time.

As a result of not taking care of myself, I was on edge while I was at home. I wasn’t acting like the person my husband knows I am. I was risking my job by not continuing to have the positive attitude and energizing presence I had at the interview. And I was risking getting sick because I was so stressed out.

I’m so thankful that I’ve exercised my ability to stop and reflect for several years now. It still takes maybe several days to start that process, but nevertheless it starts because this stressed and overwhelmed way of living is not sustainable for me. What used to happen is that I would just shut down and be in bed for days. There was really no need for that. Through the years, I’ve realized the things that were affecting me can be pinpointed and then taken care of. Once I put them on a list or a mental list, they no longer feel like a billion problems. They become more manageable.

Some people may say that they just don’t have the time to be happy. If it gets to that point, I think a thorough life check needs to happen and changes need to occur. We’re human, we have limits, and we’re not set up to handle an impossible amount of tasks without rest or play. I lived my life with no happiness and no play for about 4 years. The result, a nurse told me if I continued on this way, I would die. She literally said that without exaggerating or laughing. I was always at the doctor’s and my mental health was really out of control. I hit rock bottom and was forced to find a different way to live.

I’m 27 years old now, and I’ve spent all my adult years so far learning how to live healthy and happy. Life is really much better living on the happy and healthy side. I’m hardly at the doctor’s and my mental health is stronger than ever. I’ve learned my lesson, so I always make sure to do things that make me happy. This past week, the turning point back to happiness was when I treated myself to my favorite white chocolate mocha and blackberry scone. It didn’t cost much or take up much time, but the end result was me feeling happy, smiling, and being in a good mood when I got home. =)

Searching for my purpose

Right now, I’m searching for my purpose in life. I know deep down inside that I have a purpose for my life. I have just graduated from school, got offered some jobs, and have accepted it; however, things aren’t working as I wished they would. The jobs that I accepted run down my spirit–I come out of the office exhausted, drained, and feeling helpless. I decided to put in my two weeks notice because that is not how a job is meant to be. I understand that so many people just put up with that type of job, in fact, I think the majority of people do. Well-meaning friends tell me, “That’s just how it is…If you want to make money, that’s what you have to do.” See, I don’t buy into that kind of thinking. I was just reading a sample of a book called The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau as well as other books from people who write about the same thing and these authors as well as many other people have decided not to buy into the “That’s just how it is” thinking. It’s not just how it is.

You see, I’ve always had this fire me in that refuses to be just like everyone else, refuses to follow the crowd. I’m so glad I have this in me because if not, it would’ve been so easy for me to follow “everyone else.” I don’t think it’s bad to follow; however, if it is following something you don’t believe in, following something that you feel that is not right in your heart, then I think there is a big problem. If it is following for the sake of avoiding making hard decisions or changes in your life, then I think it’s an unfortunate way to live. Lately, I’ve had this strong conviction not to fall into finding a job just to say that I’ve found a job and can make money. Now, this is where my faith helps me. I understand that I have to make money in order to buy food, have housing, and other necessities, but I believe I don’t have to sacrifice my life in order to have the things I need. You see, if I stayed at the job I just gave my two weeks notice to, then my spirit would eventually die. It was in the process of doing so. My husband has been noticing that I’ve been different lately. That I haven’t been as happy and energetic like I normally am. In fact, he called me a “blob.” Even my boss at that job asked me if anything was wrong because I wasn’t acting like myself. After a couple of days, I finally admitted to myself that the job wasn’t a good fit and it was bringing me down. Thankfully, I have a very loving and considerate husband. He backed up my decision to quit the job.

Now for the issue of needing to make money in order to help pay for what I need in life. I’ve start reading the bible lately, and I’ve never realized how much help is in that book until recently. I’ve really come to understand the writings in there about not worrying. The bible says that God takes care of the birds who don’t sow and reap, which I looked up in the dictionary and it means that they don’t plant seeds and then gather the crop. Pretty much to me that means that don’t even work and God takes care of them. And then it goes on to say that to God, we are more important than birds, so of course he’ll take care of our needs as well. =) Now I feel that doesn’t mean that I can just sit around and do nothing. What I’ve also learned is that God created me for a purpose. That he has a good plan for my life, now that’s where I am right now. I’m trying to learn what God’s plan for my life is.

Yesterday I was listening to a Christian radio station and the person speaking was this motivational speaker named Nick Vujicic. I decided to look him up and read his biography. He was born with no arms and legs. He felt that God definitely couldn’t have a purpose for his life, but after struggling with his disability and then finding God, he learned that he did have a purpose. He is now a motivational speaker that speaks all around the world and even speaks for Congress. I read a daily devotional book called Unto The Hills by Billy Graham and today’s reading was just what I needed to hear. It was how God has a purpose for my life and that he is preparing me for that purpose and the timing of its realization would be perfect because God’s timing is perfect. This just shows to me how God really knows what was in my heart. I was worrying about what my purpose was and if it was ever going to know what it was. You see even if I have come to know God, I still worry sometimes. I forget God’s promises and have to be reminded, but he knows this that’s why he sends us messages just when we need it. I needed to hear that this morning and now I can go on again being rest assured that as I type right now, God is preparing me for the purpose he created for only me to do in this world. I can’t wait for that day. For now, I will wait patiently and take one day at a time and know that each day is preparing me and bringing me closer to my purpose. =)

Hello

Hi everyone,

I decided to create this blog because I wanted to share what I’ve learned the past couple of months. Long story short, my life had literally turned around. I was making bad decisions in life and had no jobs, I was starting to fall into a depression. I almost hit rock bottom, and then my life changed. I was offered jobs, my family life improved, and I became a new person with a new perspective. What changed my life was learning about God. Now I know this may turn some people off, but don’t worry, I’m not going to preach in this blog and say scary things that you don’t understand. I’m gonna write from my heart and share what I’ve learned from my heart. If you don’t believe in God, hopefully you can have an open heart and read what I have to say. If you do believe in God already, then this just affirms how loving and kind God is. =)

Jlove12